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|Are you having trouble expressing yourself to the one you love?
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|Posted by gfs on Monday, 13 September 2004 (10:55:16) UTC (4282 reads)
(Read More... | Score: 2.5)
| Real Found Love Letters
|The following letters on this page are real love letters that I found or came into my possession.
They are certainly not all works of art but they do convey a certain passion - sometimes a little too much passion.
If you have a love letter you found or an old letter that you received that you'd like to share with the world, please send it to us by clicking here.
Here's a tip if you're writing your own love letter: Don't use the words "smelly bums". It's a real turn-off!
|Posted by gfs on Thursday, 16 September 2004 (20:29:40) UTC (3866 reads)
(Read More... | 5 comments | Score: 0)
| To M from Bill
|M., my beloved,
According to my Windows taskbar, the clock reads 1:39. (EDIT: 1:47) It is approximately two hours and fifty-one minutes (EDIT: three hours and forty-three minutes) until our rendezvous, and my heart longs for you. I have also emailed a bitmap file that I composed in Microsoft Paint of my heart standing on a windswept plain. It is quite poetic.
My despair loops back upon itself, with only your approval as the conditional branch freeing me from infinite iterations. Do you love me? It is a binary question, with only two responses. Your response, "I'm thinking," is not a data that fits within my constraints. Please reformulate your reply; I can not accept it.
I would like to describe exactly what I would like to do to you tonight. After dinner at La Marascole in Seattle (I have taken the liberty of ordering you the prawns marascole; I know you said you were allergic to shellfish, but a prawn is a crustacean, and thus you should have no difficulty.) In addition, you will be having a Caesar salad with vinaigrette dressing. I dislike Caesar dressing. Finally, you and I will enjoy a chocolate milkshake for dessert from Wendy's.
You remember when I commissioned the Wachowski Brothers to rework the ending of Matrix Revolutions to indicate that the movie takes place inside of a Windows environment, and that Neo is actually part of Windows Update? They're done! This is going to be so cool! I've got the theatre all set up.
After that, baby, I'm going to get smooth with you. Then I'm going to sex you up something. Do you like the dirty talk? Steve B. says it really gets him all sweaty too. Then I'm going to...
|Posted by gfs on Monday, 04 April 2005 (12:07:30) UTC (3341 reads)
(comments? | Score: 0)
| Ben You Wanker! Luv Helen
|This letter was found next to an elementary school playground in western England.
Rosemary says you must be blind to go out with Natalie. I quite agree.Luv Helen
Have you screwed her yet? Did you use one? I hope you did.
David says you are a ****in dickhead and a complete wanker. I agree!!
If you ever want a screw just call Natalie.
P.S. F**k off you complete wanker. go screw Natalie
P.S.S. Are you really a randy dickhead
P.P.S.S. Did you enjoy
|Posted by gfs on Wednesday, 18 August 2004 (19:27:27) UTC (5896 reads)
(Read More... | 27 comments | Score: 4)
| Slow Moving Maze of Glass
|This letter was found on the street in downtown Chicago.
A wendseday (I'm not going to even try to explain what I was trying to spell that word in the state of mind that I'm in. Its horrible, like the feeling of being trapped in a viscously slow moving maze of glass where you can see the end but can't think of how the hell your going to make it. Only two days till I get to see your beautiful face and stare hard into your velvet eyes, how they shine like distant constellations piercing light through the cosmos, delicious, divine,diva from the planet Funkasphere of the third jive, left, step, dive to my tender arms gentel pixie, dive on in (These thoughts keep me sane and somewhat focused but all in all I'm through with this place. It's been amazing while it lasted but this time apart is too much. I don't want to get good at this. I want to be in your general vacinity for the rest of my dying days on this lonely planet. I shall never again leave my princess charming, my native warrior, my Goddess of Love, my best pal, never again )) evening; I'm making soup.
Soup went down like hard gruel.
That black pen sucks smelly bums! Phew!
I'm making a mixed tape to be listened to the next time we are alone in each other's warmth. It is intended to accompany one of the most wonderful and spectacular aspects of our love, an act that reaches deep into each other's souls, languid gyrations, spiritual seance of movement, touching bodies intwined flux mad rhythm, vines climbing to the new moon of harvest. Yes my love, Dancing, one of the cornerstones of this cosmic bond we hold. (Maybe my sentences are getting out of hand but it feels right and pure when I wright to you. I hope it all makes some kind of sense? Why am I asking that question? This is silly! I know you support everything I do, but make sure you tell me if my stuff starts getting stupid. The core of my expression is that I love you madly!
|Posted by gfs on Wednesday, 18 August 2004 (19:29:10) UTC (3490 reads)
(comments? | Score: 0)
| Little Miss Understood
|This letter was found in a squash court of a university in Boston. All errors are as they appear in the original and in my opinion really add to the piece.
Plainpaper... plain writing... plain old me.(At least thats how the first five drafts of this letter began.) My goodness, I'm finally awake! I was writing you about three hours ago when the fatigue set in and knocked me out - just as well I wasn't writing very clearly anyway. Well, on with what I have to say:
Note: Julia, please read this slowly. I went thru a lot in writing it and there seems to be alot in it. And also please read the whole thing, this is very important.
First of all, I've been doing a lot of thinking... much more than will ever be recounted. At the end of it I feel quite exhausted and in fact fed up with thought in general. Throughout my studying I pondered the ins and outs of our relationship: what is used to be, what it is, and what will become of it. I can tell you the latter was by far the most cumbersome. I will present to you here a few of my ideas, though most will remain forgotten and-or purposefully left out (the reason for this I hope will become clear.)
What I have to say I am sure won't surprise you; the reason I have tosay it is to "set the record straight", so to speak. I have fallen "out of love" with you. At least this is my conclusion; I contend that I do think about you alot, much more than is good for me, and that this idea has made me very very sad, but to the best of my knowledge (be it little) it is the truth. I have tried very hard, harder than ever before; I was driven to make this relationship work. I wanted to go abroad with you on my mind, I wanted to look forward evermore towards your visits, and though we might never have gone out again I wanted to remember the love I had and feel that it was real. I think I will cry if I ever give this letter to you.
The time that we spent apart seems like years - seeing you for just a little bit every two days probably only worsened it: each time we were terribly uncomfortable and so it felt like the love we did have must have been falsified. I realize that school may have been aprecipitating factor in all this but it is not an excuse; excuses are designed to eleviate the guilt and hopefully repair damages. This it does not.
Beyond these two ideas the rest is just details. When we're old maybe we'll get around to discussing them, but right now I don't feel that this is important. What I do feel is important is that we spend a good deal of time together doing things that we enjoy.
I guess this is going to sound like quite a turnaround in the letter, but I will confess that this is not a break up letter, ie. Dear Jane. What I said on the phone so many eons ago still holds true:"There are allot of beautiful things to do in the world and I know that I can enjoy them very much with you." (or in not so many words). And... uh... you may feel otherwise but, I don't want to stop being intimate and affectionate with you, ie I still want to be your"boyfriend". (ich! auch! yuck! spit! what a cliche!) I figure that just because I don't love you doesn't mean I can't like you very... well... you understand.
This may now sound a bit presumptious I would to "mention" two things. One is your overbearing "ethnocentricity" kick. Joking or not, you are always correcting little things that we do, as if we were the root of all this ethnocentric evil in the world. You (and you alone it seems) are miss "politically correct" and "ethnocentrofugal". Maybe this helps you to define yourself in this overbaringly immoral society, it does after all seem to be ajustifiable cause, but it really is annoying sometimes (I was tempted to use "a bit annoying" but similies are too often missinterpretted). The other is the subordinating way in which you express emotion. Everytime we go to kiss, or go just somewhere you grab my hand and drag me; and then to kiss, you grab my jacket and pull me down to kiss. To me this is very assuming, and very dominating. With you there is no mutual leaning over to kiss - if I want to kiss I lean over and when you don't want to, you simply don't - for me I get yanked into it.
I don't know what you think of this, and I shan't probably for awhile. I would like very much to give it to you tonight, and I apologize right now if I have done that; it means a lot to me and I cannot wait any longer. I feel good about it: I, in writing it, have gone through a variety of emotions (as you will probably have guessed) and I have expressed the basis of my ideas. I do want to spend time with you and I hope that you will accept this offer, and I would like to stop spending so much time thinking. I have learned a lotfrom you and from our relationship, but I've lost a bit ofconfidence.
I thank you, and I hope to see you soon.
P.S. You don't have to think about this before your exams, I don't want that; if I can help you with your studies let me know.
|Posted by gfs on Wednesday, 18 August 2004 (19:30:42) UTC (4366 reads)
(Read More... | 5 comments | Score: 0)
| A Million Pieces
|This fine set of letters was sent in by one of our readers. Enjoy!
Today was the most horrible day of my life. I never thought the day would come that we actually almost said good-bye for good. As Ive sat here thinking of all the words we spoke Ive come to one conclusion and that conclusion is to tell you all I feel in my heart for you.
From the first day we met you have always been the one I knew was meant for me. Just the mere thought of losing you breaks my heart in a millION PIECES. I hope we can work things out. Please give me another chance. I need you in my life. I LOVE YOU!!!!!
The words we spoke today ripped my heart out of my chest. I cant believe that we almost said good-bye. Ive really thought alot this afternoon about everything and I want you to know that Im sorry I also want you to know that you are all I live for.
From the first day we met I knew you were the one and only one for me. You are my best friend and you are the best thing that has ever happend to me and the thought of losing you tears me apart inside. I wish there was some way to get you to understand what I feel for you in my heart and to make you see that I only love you. All the memories we have shared and all the memories we have made mean more to me than anything in the whole world. Please dont throw all we share together away, I need you in my life. I need to see you smile at me and I need to see you look deep in to my eyes and tell me that you love me, I need to feel your arms around me and I need to feel your heart beat against mine. Life without you would be unbearable. From now on Im really going to try to meet you in the middle on things and Im going to give you more space as long as you promise that you wont forget about me. I love you with all of my heart and I hope you can look deep inside and find some way to forgive me for all the wrong thigs I have done.
As I conclude this letter I need to ask you one question. I need to know if you will spend the rest of your life with me. If you will let me be the one that cooks you dinner and let me be the one that you come home to at night and let me be the one you love with all of your heart and will never let go. We dont have to do it now or anytime soon, but I want to spend the rest of my life with you I know that for a fact, so please say yes. Like I said I dont want it to be soon because we still have a lot of living to do, but when were both ready I want it to be us not you and someone and me and someone.
I cant promise you there wont be fights, I cant promise you that you wont want to walk out on me one day, and I cant promise you that well be happy all the time, but I can promise you: Someone who is totally devoted to you-someone who thinks you walk on water-someone who will always be there and someone who is hopelessley in love with you.
You are my world so please say yes. This can be our little secret and we can carry it with us until we decide were ready. I just cant go on living with this burdening my heart.Please say youll spend the rest of your life with me.I Love you with all of my heart and soul!!
All My Love,
|Posted by gfs on Wednesday, 18 August 2004 (19:31:53) UTC (6244 reads)
(Read More... | 7 comments | Score: 5)
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