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| mind over matter, matter undermined (roommate cont...) |  Anonymous writes: dear gfs,
i think minds can be changed--even doing a 180--now given he had had it with his gf over spending xmas with her...and somehow got talked into it when it was against his will (amongst other things), i am assuming his mind can be changed. after all, she is a psychologist for hardened criminals in a mental institute, and he is very innocent and somewhat naiive to the ways people are (i knew this back then, but did not take advantage of him as i respected him, and did not want him to feel uncomfortable being he was my tenant).
so i seek your great & wise advice gfs! what can one do for someone they care deeply about when they are so far away? what can i say to him over the phone? what buttons can i push? do i need to make myself present physically to be there, and if so, how can i get him without his gf around?  ...i think the matter can be undermined...help!
thanks!
GFS:
Geez, you're a clever and witty girl! You don't have to by physically present to have an intense relationship... but I think you'd have no trouble finding someone else.
| Posted by gfs on Friday, 01 April 2005 (11:34:38) UTC (3719 reads)
(Read More... | 11 comments | Score: 1) | | |
| I know im a stupid bitch, but its not gonna stop me from getting what i want. | Anonymous writes: I already know my decision making skills are flawed and are usually based on my "throbbing biological urges", rather than logic. Nevertheless my awarness of my stipidity isn't going to stop me form getting what i want.
I have a boyfreind. Been with him for about 3 years. We have lived together for 2 years. He is the greatest guy iv ever known , always faithful, loving and wants to marry me. The problem is: even though i know i have this great guy, because im so young (19) i feel like, although i want to eventually spend the rest of my life with this guy i still want to play the feild a little.
Here comes the temptation. My boyfreind is now gone,away for a new work opp. and has moved to a different state. Were still together but i wont see him now for 4 to 6 months! And im left feeling horney, sad, confused and with a good looking male flatmate.
This was also though, a year in the making. When my flatmate first moved in he had a girlfreind. i was not on good terms with my boyfreind at the time and this guy (flatmate) really impressed me. So i had to get rid of the girlfreind. Do some boyfreind stealing. I never really expected to succeed but with little effort I convinced him to break up with her! But then my boyfreind and I became closer than eve,r and up untill he left had been, more or less, a great couple.
In the month leading up to his departure I became strongly attracted to my flatmate, and now my boyfreinds gone i feel i wanna explore this interest further.
My flatemate, since my boyfreind has left, has now become the sweetest most lovable best freind a girl could have. He buys me chocolates and nice things and stays up to all hours talking to me and watching movies. Hes become protective of me with my other male freinds and whenever hes away he call's to check up on me. We have now, on occasion even slept in the same bed at night. We dont do anything but have become really close. He has even said that im a much better freind than my boyfreind is to him and values my company a great deal more.
I do want him, but for nothing more than a fling, I dont think. I dont want to hurt anybody. And if i do try anything i dont know if it will be worth it. I mean is my flatmate even interested or just being sympathetic? How can i go about this situation the smart way?
GFS:
Chances are your boyfriend is not going to understand but if you think he will, you could tell him how you feel. Otherwise, it's best to keep it a secret. I wouldn't worry about your flatmate kissing-and-telling; men don't usually do that kind of stuff (except in the movie Closer.)
OK, I think you can just make a move on your flatmate. I recommend grabbing his ass or crotch. Men aren't good with subtleties, it goes right over our heads. Afterwards, if he gets too attached, remind him you have a boyfriend. Then I suppose he'll show up at this site and we'll get another customer!
| Posted by gfs on Friday, 01 April 2005 (11:07:07) UTC (5586 reads)
(Read More... | 32 comments | Score: 5) | | |
| I need help | Anonymous writes: I would like to get this guy, but he already has a girlfriend that he has been with for four years. The girl is a real ***** and is constantly putting him down. I need to know the best way to get him to notice me for more than a friend and how to get him away from her. Suggestions?
GFS: Guys are so easy. Especially if he's been with his girlfriend for 4 years...
Just start flirting with him. Give him a knowing smile. Casually touch him during conversation. Playfully hit him if he says something you don't like.
Here's what not to do: get all serious and tell him you really like him. Don't pressure him.
When you see him sometime, come up behind him and grab his butt in a playful way.
| Posted by gfs on Thursday, 21 October 2004 (12:43:53) UTC (7328 reads)
(Read More... | 16 comments | Score: 5) | | |
| still want my ex-roommate back! | Anonymous writes: dear gfs,
thanks for the advice on my previous dilemma, but the fact is, what is the best approach when he is a day's drive away, and all i have is a phone? his girlfriend lives with him now, and i think she has been telling him not to talk to me anymore because he doesn't sound as friendly when i call him.
i've told him i miss him, and i did tell him on our last time that we met that i want him, that i want to be with him (all the while i took his hand as he was about to leave my place). i did tell him that he will always have a special place in my heart, and he looked at me for about 7 seconds, as if he were impressed by it, and then he asked what should we do, and i said it's up to him, i already told him how i felt about him. am i being overly optimistic? should i just forget about him as my friends have told me to do? i have tried, but can't help thinking about him all the time. i guess i do love him...just for a note, what does it mean when he said i should get another hug, only THIS time he put one hand on my hip, and called me "honey"? This really makes me confused if he likes me or he was just trying to be nice in saying "no".
still dreaming and keep bumping into that "wall"...
HELP!
ps, he's from denmark, so i don't know if his passiveness was his culture or him, or just not interested in me...
GFS: I don't know anything about Danish men so I can't help you in that last question. I do know that danish buns are sweet and rather sticky.
Unfortunately, I think your friends are right. I think you have to try to get over him and put him out of your mind. He seems to have made his decision.
I wouldn't put to much into the hug and touch. He is a man and we're all a bit weak when confronted with a female body. At least us straight ones.
| Posted by gfs on Wednesday, 20 October 2004 (18:28:25) UTC (3787 reads)
(Read More... | 5 comments | Score: 0) | | |
| HE HAS AND LIVES WITH HIS GIRLFRIEND | Anonymous writes: HEEEELP! I MET THIS GUY AT WORK A FEW MONTHS BACK. WE BOTH WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP AT THE TIME BUT SLOWLY THE FLIRTING HAD BECOUME MORE INTENCE. MY MAN AND I WERE HAVING PROBLEMS AND DECIDED TO END IT, BUT HE STILL HAS HIS LADY (AND LIVES WITH HER!) HE DOSENT WORK WITH ME ANYMORE AND IM 99% SURE THAT WE WILL MUTUALLY MISS EACH OTHER(I ALREADY DO!)IVE GOT HIS NUMBER AND IT WOULD NOT BE STRAINGE FOR ME TO CALL AND CHECK UP ON HIM...WE WOULD FLIRT LIKE CRAZY TEASING, CHALANGING,STAIRING SMILING, SHARING OUR KNOWLEDGE OR INSIDE JOKES AND WE COULD STAND COMFORTABLY WITHIN KISSING DISTANCE AND JUST SMILE AND TAUNT EACH OTHER! WE EACH OTHER AND UNDERSTOOD EACH OTHER IN A WAY MOST OTHERS COULDNT (WE WERE VERY COMPATIBLE IN A WEIRD WAY) BUT WE NEVER KISSED, OR HUNG OUT OUTSIDE OF WORK (SOME TIMES HE WOULD GIVE ME A LIFT ONLY IF IT WAS US 2)...WE WOULD EVEN AVOID EACH OTHER 99% OF THE TIME WHEN WE WERE ON BRAKE AND WE NEVER HAD CONVERSATIONS WITH PEOPLE PRESENT WE WOULD JUST STOP MID SENTANCE AND CONTINUE LATER ON...WE WERE PRIVATE LIKE THAT, AND AVOIDED TOUCHING EACHOTHER IN ANY WAY AT ALL( IT WAS THE ONLY THING THAT MADE US NERVOUS TOWARDS EACH OTHER, ITS LIKE WE WANTED TO BUT WE COULDNT) WE HAD CRAZY UNCONTROLABLE SEXUAL TENTION. OK SO HERES THE PROBLEM...I WANT HIM IN ALL WAYS POSSIBLE AND FOR AS MANY YEARS AS POSSIBLE BUT I DONT KNOW IF HE CAN SEE MORE THAN A BLOWJOB. SECONDLY HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND(HE ALWAYS SPEAKS LOW WHEN SHE CALLS AND SOUNDS ANOYED NOT TO MENTION HE NEVER EVER TALKS ABOUT HER)HE LIVES WITH HER AND I CANT STOP THINKING OF HIM.....I WANT HIM AND YOU ARE MY ONLY CHANCE! THIS GUY IS MY IDEAL AND ULTIMATE MAN.  AND I GOTTA HAVE MY KIX!
GFS:
Jeez, do you really have to yell???
First thing to remember is that guys will say anything to get a blowjob so don't believe a word he says beforehand. The first thing is to keep in contact with him. Then plant some seeds of doubt in his mind. When he mentions his girlfriend, say "oh, are you still with her?" like he's making some kind of mistake. That will get him thinking. You don't want to pressure him, just help him along.
| Posted by gfs on Friday, 08 October 2004 (11:37:59) UTC (6161 reads)
(Read More... | 8 comments | Score: 5) | | |
| A Joke for the Ladies | OK, here's a joke for all the chicks:
What do you tell a guy who is bending over and holding his balls?
Nothing. You already told him.
| Posted by gfs on Monday, 13 September 2004 (13:17:07) UTC (4358 reads)
(Read More... | 13 comments | Score: 0) | | |
| Want my ex-roommate back | Anonymous writes: hi gs,
i'm actually a girl, found your site because my situation is that i have liked my roommate (a guy) for a few years, but never did anything about it because i was raising my child. i totally fell for my roommate because he is the sweetest thing, was there for me during the whole time i was pregnant when my baby's father left me at 3 months. i really regret not having done anything, but was never quite sure if he liked me but there always seemed to be subtle signs like him telling me that his friends can take me on tours in his country (he's not from this country), and that when i asked him to do things with me, he always agreed, but funny thing was he never asked me to do things with him, other than that first night he moved in he asked me to his room to play a boardgame with him. We lived in the same place for 7 months PLATONICALLY, then I moved to my new place. NOW, 2 years later, the situation is that he has a girlfriend since last january, and they just moved in together--but now they are a day's drive away from me. i've never met her. Last december, he told me he was tired of always doing things with her, and he didn't want to spend xmas w. her. I being the nice idiot, told him he can either try to work things out or move on. I guess he worked things out with her. For these past 2 years, i've only seen him 4 times as she is always with him and vice versa, and they had plans months in advance. I think he still likes me, as I told him I had a room for rent, and he said he wanted to rent, then changed his mind when I asked if he was serious.
I can't get him out of my mind, and I saw him for the last time a few days ago, I finally told him that I think a lot about him, asked him not to go but stay with me. He said he can't cheat on his girlfriend, and I told him that's what I like about him, and I knew he wouldn't. I wouldn't want him to, because for me, it would have to be done the right way. Now, gs, I'm asking you what is the right way to get them to break up? I'm being bad, but that's how much this guy means to me
Help pls!
GFS:
This one had me pondering for a while as it's not really my area of expertise. Also, you don't say what country this guy is from and if he's from a completely different culture, that could make a big difference.
First, please, please, please make sure that you really love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him. It's really not fair to get him to leave his girlfriend for a whim. (Geez, I must be getting a nice-streak in my old age.)
If he's not so happy with his current girlfriend it should be fairly easy to get him. The trick is not to pressure him -- he can get nagging from his girlfriend. When you see him, flirt with him. Keep it fun and funny. Try a quick kiss. Then tell him you want him (be direct -- men need that or we don't get it). If he starts talking about his girlfriend, change the subject to something completely different. Keep the pressure off.
| Posted by gfs on Friday, 10 September 2004 (15:01:33) UTC (10640 reads)
(Read More... | 32 comments | Score: 3.5) | | |
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