Hello I need some advise Im a 28 year old male and I cant drive due that I have a medical problem that wont allow me to drive. Since I live in the country which is kinda out of the way and theres not any stores,restaunts, or bars for miles and Im kinda stuck here. If all thats not bad enough When I go to the doctor or to the grocery store or anything like that and i see someone that I would like go out with Im to shy to ask her out and I am usually with my mother cuz I ride with her where we need to go due to the fact that I live with her cuz that I cant drive and since i cant drive I cant really hold a job the only income i get is from social sucurity disabilty check i get every month. The last girlfriend that I had that I actually loved was over 5 years ago, Ive tryed online dating and that ended up being a waste of time to me because I cant relocate to anywhere well I could but if i did Id be leaving my mother hanging and if something happened here at the house she would need me here to fix it if you understand what im saying. Just the same my main problem is that Im just to shy to ask someone out and 90% of the time Im walkin around in wal-mart right next to her and as far as friends goes i dont have any thats my age. How do i over come being shy? For example If I were in a crowd I wouldnt dare to ask a girl out but if i was sitting or standing next to a girl in a room and we were alone i would ask her out see what im driving at?
Ok well thanks
GFS: Thanks for writing; your problem is a common one.
The first thing to keep in mind when trying to overcome your shyness is that most people have insecurities, whether they appear to be shy or not. So you're in the same boat as most people.
The second thing to realize is that there's no reason to be shy in front of a crowd of strangers. Why do you care what people you don't even know think of you? I can understand not wanting to make your moves in front of your mother because that will just cramp your style so definitely make sure she's out of earshot!
The third thing is to not make a big thing of it. Don't "ask her out", ask her if she wants to get a coffee, something really casual and low-key. Or just chat about something casually without pushing for something.
There are lots of great things on the internet for overcoming your shyness. Internet Dating is one that you said you've tried. Well, internet dating has people looking for all kinds of relationships so where you live might not necessarily be a problem. It will give you a chance to meet people you ordinarily wouldn't meet and, at worst, you can make new friends.
Another thing I highly recommend is trying some of the online community games such as There.com,The Sims Online, SecondLife.com etc. These games let you truly be yourself (or who you want to be) and let you meet and interact with many people without the pressures of real-life. They are really good for practicing your chatting skills and are lots of fun as well!
Good luck!
